Second Trimester BITCHES!

I'm 13 weeks.

Still feeling tired and though the insomnia is better, it's not gone completely. The nausea is gone, which is good. My tastebuds seem to be evening out, though I still don't particularly want/enjoy savory foods. I'm just glad that the sweet foods that I do want are primarily healthy for me. Lots of fruit, yogurt, English Muffins with jam, pancakes, cream cheese... things that I don't normally care all that much for.

My weight continues to hold steady at around 150. I told the ultrasound tech yesterday that this was the best weight loss plan ever. I weigh about the same as I did when I got pregnant, but the weight has shifted away from my legs and ass to my stomach and breasts. I'm hoping that post-baby it melts away as baby weight leaving me at a much more normal 120 or so. We'll see.

In addition to my food tastes changing, my tastes in books and television seems to have changed a little as well. I've never liked nature programs, but yesterday I spent $60 on BBC's "Planet Earth"... and I'm loving it. Same thing with books, I've never been much of a non-fiction reader, but I just seem to be devouring non-fiction books on all different sources. These are good changes as they make my reading/television watching more useful and educational but I do wonder how much of this change in tastes relates to the pregnancy, if at all.

Had my first ultrasound that looked like anything yesterday.

I almost cried when I saw the profile. I can't explain exactly what I'm feeling... it's not necessarily ownership... the only way I can put it is that it's weird that there's another person-like creature in there.

Better.

My insomnia is still fucking everything up. I'm just grateful that my summer classes all start late in the day, giving me no excuse not to go. That being said, I still wish that I was able to get a decent night's sleep... or at least be able to nap during the day. Other than that however, I'm starting to feel more normal.

I bought a balance board for the Wii. I've seen mixed reviews on exercise during pregnancy, and I definitely don't want to overdo it. That being said, since I was (kind of) a runner before the pregnancy, I think that the balance board activities should be light enough not to do any real damage, and I hope that exercise will help me sleep a little better, since it's become abundantly clear that my doctor is unwilling to do anything to help the matter.

As far as the Ob/Gyn goes, I'm still not convinced that I'm with the right practitioners. The last appointment that I went to, I wasn't seen by the doctor until a HOUR after my scheduled appointment time. Completely unacceptable. Then when I saw the doctor and complained about my insomnia and migraines with, "I'm almost completely non-functional and I don't know what to do." the response was, "You're not going to like this answer, but I don't know what to do either." Seriously? You've been an Ob for what appears to be a thousand years and you don't know what to do? I would have accepted, "There's nothing I can do." or "There aren't any safe options." but "I don't know what to do." is COMPLETELY unacceptable. These people get one more appointment, and if they continue to suck... I'm going to explore other options. Medical files can be transferred and who to deliver your baby seems like a pretty big decision, especially if (God forbid) I need a C-section. I just wish that I had a better idea of who a decent doctor would be.

S. and I should be getting married pretty soon. That ought to shut people up. Though when I told my mom that I had decided to keep my last name, she responded with, "Oh no... just don't tell your father, he doesn't need to know." Right. I definitely do not understand what that is all about.

Scalping

My scalp is dry and itchy and is driving me crazy. I know I need to stop scratching and picking at it, but it's nearly impossible. I also think that my scalp is breaking out, which is disgusting. But I suppose that this is better than my face breaking out. It's a constant itching. All over.

My hormones seem to be normalizing. I'm still exhausted and not sleeping well, but I'm hoping that in time, that will subside as well. 

I'm getting sick of everything that I say as being interpreted about my pregnancy. "My mean cat is being sweeter." "It must be because he can detect your hormones!" Right. 

My growing breasts are another source of irritation. Last week I think that I pulled a muscle in my ribs because of the ridiculous size that these have become. In general I feel that the size is ridiculous looking, but it's also another unfair irony that the first time in my life where I might be able to properly fill out a bikini, I'm swollen beyond belief in my midsection.

...and one more thing.

How is my scalp both disgustingly oily and disgustingly flaky at the same time?

Pregnancy is gross.

Again, my eloquence amazes me.

Note the time stamp.

My Newest Disorder

Fatal Familial Insomnia. Affects 1 in 30 million of the population. A genetic prion disease where you eventually die from not being able to sleep... at least that's what I feel like I have.

After receiving a lecture from my father about how I must not be practicing good sleep hygiene or following conventional wisdom (like not taking naps in the middle of the day) or else I WOULD be sleeping, I feel generally pissed off and even more frustrated about not being able to sleep. Thanks Dad. I just need to remember that he just cares about me and wants to make sure that the peanut and I are happy and healthy. The pregnancy hormones (or my otherwise general insanity) make me feel as if he's attacking me.

Got up and got out of the house today. Went into town and saw the Dean and worked out a good schedule for this summer and fall. I feel more stable about where my legal education is going and things seem brighter on that front than they have in awhile.

S. comes home tomorrow and we'll get married sometime in the next two weeks, which will finally get the crazies off my back. I won't have to start every conversation with my father hearing, 'Are you married yet?' I've planned 'the babymoon'. S. would have liked to go to Vegas to get married, but let's face it... that's a shitty place for a pregnant woman. The smoke and the noise and the alcohol... fun any other time though... so instead we'll get married in the courthouse and take an Alaskan cruise in late May. It will be our last 'real' vacation.

Those words just look ominous.