My skin is freaking the fuck out. I am breaking out on my face, my chest, and my legs. It's pissing me off.
All my mother can talk about is this baby. For the most part this is okay because I don't have to bother other people who don't give a shit obsessing about it. I can tell we are going to dispute certain things. This should not be surprising since certain things have changed in the past thirty years or so.
The whole concept of, 'So you're having a baby!' is completely overwhelming. This goes back to the worry hobby that I was talking about last night. Even if I wasn't due during the fall semester I might have opted to go part time just to do all this damned research. But just like anything, the more you do it the easier it gets. But there's just SO MUCH to think about. It's easy to see how people become enslaved to their children. I'm still trying to avoid that.
School is a great distraction right now. I hope this remains the case in the fall semester and after the baby comes.
The pregnancy dreams have started. Very VERY vivid and usually pretty disturbing. Last night I was dreaming about roaches, the one thing that I have a near phobic fear of. Just typing the word and thinking about it makes my skin crawl. I spent all night (according to S.) twitching and brushing my skin. Everytime I woke up and tried to reset my mind, I went right back into the dream. It was awful. I've always been a vivid dreamer, but this is a whole new level of crazy. Even the sex dreams, which culminate in a full orgasm (no physical stimulation) are distressing because they usually have some dreadful horror-esque theme behind them...
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
What a Racket.
So I determined today that I could never ever work at Babies r' Us. I watched a guy who answered the phone and it went something like, 'So you're looking for the Fuzzy Wuzzy Itty Bitty Mobile Arm?' The things that would irritate me would be as follows:
1. The babies
2. The mothers/pregnant women
3. Their dumbass excited friends
4. The stupid product names
We spent two grand today on baby equipment. The cradle, the mattress, changing station/drawers, bedding, a changing mat, a travel system (car seat and stroller), a play-pen system, and a chair for me to sit in. Two grand?!! Really?
Baby stuff is officially stupidly expensive. I have to wonder before we had these super baby megastores... how did babies survive?
What prompted the sudden frenzy of baby buying? Well, we found out the gender, which somehow made the whole pregnancy thing much more real. We found out Thursday that it's a girl, and by Saturday, we've done all the big buying except for the paint for the room. While I might be crazy, my mother is completely insane because I told her it was a girl around 11am, by 4:30 she had spent at least $100 on little girl clothes. So I'm not worrying about clothing my baby.
I have a ton of idiotic FaceBook friends, but one in particular bugs the shit out of me. I think she's the same one who welcomed me to the mommy club. Ick, just thinking about it irritates me. But her most recent offensive remarks are just way crazier. She just had her baby less than a month ago. She was in love 'instantly!'. Finefinefine. But then she says to me... "I'm so excited for you! I'm ready to have number 2..." Gah! Really?! Gah!
Admittedly I'm feeling more excited about it. As I said, finding out the gender made it more real. I'm glad that it's a girl, while I've never been a girly-girl I've still had the experience of growing up a girl, so I feel more prepared. Though, a boy would have been nice if just to dress up in feminist t-shirts. I know. Wrong reason. I'm also excited about putting an infant in pro-choice gear.
The worry hobby has escalated to new heights. I worry about having a still-birth, especially now that the acceptance has settled and we've bought baby crap. I worry about what happens if she's autistic or slow. I worry about child-molestors and if the sunscreen that I choose will cause cancer. I worry about if she has terrible acne and can't make any friends in middle and high school. I worry that she might get involved in an abusive relationship, or drink and drive, or become a meth-head.... see? I'm really good at it. And what if I buy a car seat and then get in a crash and it kills her because I chose the wrong seat? What if I forget to take the stuffed animals out of the crib and she suffocates? What if the professional nanny we hire turns out to be a serial killer? Okay. I'm really going to stop now.
I'm sleeping better and though I haven't really had any noticeable weight gain, the weight transfer has made life uncomfortable. It's harder to stand up, roll over in bed, walk up hills... etc etc etc. The hormone relaxin has caused my knee ligaments to really loosen and cause some significant pain at times. My appetite is back, but I still have some aversion to meat. In general my cravings are getting more unhealthy. I want chocolate and cherry coke. What can I do?
1. The babies
2. The mothers/pregnant women
3. Their dumbass excited friends
4. The stupid product names
We spent two grand today on baby equipment. The cradle, the mattress, changing station/drawers, bedding, a changing mat, a travel system (car seat and stroller), a play-pen system, and a chair for me to sit in. Two grand?!! Really?
Baby stuff is officially stupidly expensive. I have to wonder before we had these super baby megastores... how did babies survive?
What prompted the sudden frenzy of baby buying? Well, we found out the gender, which somehow made the whole pregnancy thing much more real. We found out Thursday that it's a girl, and by Saturday, we've done all the big buying except for the paint for the room. While I might be crazy, my mother is completely insane because I told her it was a girl around 11am, by 4:30 she had spent at least $100 on little girl clothes. So I'm not worrying about clothing my baby.
I have a ton of idiotic FaceBook friends, but one in particular bugs the shit out of me. I think she's the same one who welcomed me to the mommy club. Ick, just thinking about it irritates me. But her most recent offensive remarks are just way crazier. She just had her baby less than a month ago. She was in love 'instantly!'. Finefinefine. But then she says to me... "I'm so excited for you! I'm ready to have number 2..." Gah! Really?! Gah!
Admittedly I'm feeling more excited about it. As I said, finding out the gender made it more real. I'm glad that it's a girl, while I've never been a girly-girl I've still had the experience of growing up a girl, so I feel more prepared. Though, a boy would have been nice if just to dress up in feminist t-shirts. I know. Wrong reason. I'm also excited about putting an infant in pro-choice gear.
The worry hobby has escalated to new heights. I worry about having a still-birth, especially now that the acceptance has settled and we've bought baby crap. I worry about what happens if she's autistic or slow. I worry about child-molestors and if the sunscreen that I choose will cause cancer. I worry about if she has terrible acne and can't make any friends in middle and high school. I worry that she might get involved in an abusive relationship, or drink and drive, or become a meth-head.... see? I'm really good at it. And what if I buy a car seat and then get in a crash and it kills her because I chose the wrong seat? What if I forget to take the stuffed animals out of the crib and she suffocates? What if the professional nanny we hire turns out to be a serial killer? Okay. I'm really going to stop now.
I'm sleeping better and though I haven't really had any noticeable weight gain, the weight transfer has made life uncomfortable. It's harder to stand up, roll over in bed, walk up hills... etc etc etc. The hormone relaxin has caused my knee ligaments to really loosen and cause some significant pain at times. My appetite is back, but I still have some aversion to meat. In general my cravings are getting more unhealthy. I want chocolate and cherry coke. What can I do?
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Second Trimester BITCHES!
I'm 13 weeks.
Still feeling tired and though the insomnia is better, it's not gone completely. The nausea is gone, which is good. My tastebuds seem to be evening out, though I still don't particularly want/enjoy savory foods. I'm just glad that the sweet foods that I do want are primarily healthy for me. Lots of fruit, yogurt, English Muffins with jam, pancakes, cream cheese... things that I don't normally care all that much for.
My weight continues to hold steady at around 150. I told the ultrasound tech yesterday that this was the best weight loss plan ever. I weigh about the same as I did when I got pregnant, but the weight has shifted away from my legs and ass to my stomach and breasts. I'm hoping that post-baby it melts away as baby weight leaving me at a much more normal 120 or so. We'll see.
In addition to my food tastes changing, my tastes in books and television seems to have changed a little as well. I've never liked nature programs, but yesterday I spent $60 on BBC's "Planet Earth"... and I'm loving it. Same thing with books, I've never been much of a non-fiction reader, but I just seem to be devouring non-fiction books on all different sources. These are good changes as they make my reading/television watching more useful and educational but I do wonder how much of this change in tastes relates to the pregnancy, if at all.
Had my first ultrasound that looked like anything yesterday.
Still feeling tired and though the insomnia is better, it's not gone completely. The nausea is gone, which is good. My tastebuds seem to be evening out, though I still don't particularly want/enjoy savory foods. I'm just glad that the sweet foods that I do want are primarily healthy for me. Lots of fruit, yogurt, English Muffins with jam, pancakes, cream cheese... things that I don't normally care all that much for.
My weight continues to hold steady at around 150. I told the ultrasound tech yesterday that this was the best weight loss plan ever. I weigh about the same as I did when I got pregnant, but the weight has shifted away from my legs and ass to my stomach and breasts. I'm hoping that post-baby it melts away as baby weight leaving me at a much more normal 120 or so. We'll see.
In addition to my food tastes changing, my tastes in books and television seems to have changed a little as well. I've never liked nature programs, but yesterday I spent $60 on BBC's "Planet Earth"... and I'm loving it. Same thing with books, I've never been much of a non-fiction reader, but I just seem to be devouring non-fiction books on all different sources. These are good changes as they make my reading/television watching more useful and educational but I do wonder how much of this change in tastes relates to the pregnancy, if at all.
Had my first ultrasound that looked like anything yesterday.
I almost cried when I saw the profile. I can't explain exactly what I'm feeling... it's not necessarily ownership... the only way I can put it is that it's weird that there's another person-like creature in there.
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