Symptoms.

The onset of irritating pregnancy symptoms set in sometime last week. Of course there is the expected nausea, though it hasn't been too bad yet. I know that I'm unusually susceptible to the power of suggestion.


I've already decided after reading the classic What to Expect When You're Expecting that I must be having twins because I'm itching more than usual. In the same vein, every day I find new scary things that I have done wrong over the past eight(?) weeks. Today it was taking hot baths. Apparently during the first twelve weeks if you take a bath that is over 102 degrees F, you're putting your child at risk for neural tube defects and also increases the risk of miscarriage. Super.


So let's list the ways this child is currently ruining my life causing me some temporary discomfort.
I can no longer:
Have a glass of wine
Eat carpaccio, sushi, or anything else uncooked.
Eat a medium rare steak
Take my anti-anxiety meds.
Take Advil, Aleve, or Acetaminophen.
Sleep.
TAKE A HOT BATH!!


Really - must you take my last avenue of respite? I suppose that I should be grateful that at least this one internal mechanism of maternal concern, though I have to wonder if even that concern is not self-serving.


Let me be honest.


I don't know if I could handle a handicapped child. I need this baby to be healthy because having this baby is about all I can take. I don't need any other surprises or things to get 'excited' about.


In other news, which I know is not the topic of this blog, but it was so upsetting it will be good to get out, my cousin's husband put this down as his Facebook status:


"The end of time is near. Look at all the worlds events. From war to natural disasters, it is coming and you better be right with the Lord."


God Almighty. Really? It took all of my restraint not to educate the man on history, science, or to just flat out make a sarcastic remark. Maybe something like, 'Amen brother, look at all the divorced, unmarried, pregnant women about! And don't forget the gays on TV!


In other news regarding crazy, churchy relatives. My Grandmother on the same side has not called to congratulate me or my mother. I don't know if she's spoken to my father. I'm sure she's horrified that I'm not married and taking my sweet time at it. True, I was engaged for almost a year and living together almost as long when this child was conceived, but a stable relationship obviously isn't a stable relationship without a MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE! What will Jesus think?!?! Expect more on this later.


I can't figure out what's wrong with this formatting.